You didn’t suppose I was suddenly going to be one of those webcomics that shows nudity and all, did you?
Posts Tagged paste
Just for the record. I have nothing against kids. Or having kids.
But, they ARE kids y’know. Sometimes they are difficult to be in the room with.
I still remember there was an old episode of WKRP in Cincinnati, where the weird guy is being interviewed on the radio- he says that when you give a kid an IQ test for an adult, they score ‘Crazy’. (I’m paraphrasing.) What a great observation.
Nobody (Well, in this age of the In’ernets, we know there’s always SOMEBODY) wants to prop up useless stereotypes. And here I am doing a comic strip about a married couple having the ol’ “Husband Climbs Down” scenario.
You know why I did it, too.
Tell me you don’t know a couple like this. Tell me.
Yeah, I know ’em too. Heck, sometimes I AM them.
You know how it’s been called ‘The Stone Age’ because, y’know, they found stone tools and obviously the men made the stone tools and killed food and everyone in the human race survived the ice ages and everything? Well, you realize, of course, that they’ve since found fossilized woven surfaces.
So, yeah. Buncha naked men running around with pointed rocks, grinning about how smart they were and then dragging a dead animal home to… the women who were wearing woven leather clothes, and carrying things around in woven grass baskets and sleeping on woven mats.
Stone age. Riiiiiiight. And somebody kept drinking all the fermented berry juice the women were saving for Sa’urday night, too.
Folks do what they do. I draw cartoons. You read cartoons. Paste says rude, snarky stuff. All’s right with the world.
For those of you who like to invent your own variations on the punchlines, here’s the alternate for Paste’s final comment that I considered to be overused, even if it’s pretty funny:
Y’ever have one of those flop-sweat realizations? Somebody says, “Well, at least you didn’t do such-and-such, ’cause then you’d be an ass!” riiiiiight before you were going to say, “And then I did such-and-such…”
Yeah, me neither.
You know what you should never ever do? Read comics and keep an eye out for exposition pages and panels. You know those panels- the ones where the characters hand you all the Catch-Up Cliff’s Notes for the story you’re in… What’s worse is when you see those movies and TV shows whose creators somehow managed to keep their jobs even though everything seems to be characters either catching you up on things, or saying stuff that just repeats the action you’re seeing anyway. Oh, and commercials? Don’t ever stop to think of all the logical mistakes in advertising’s attempts to convince you to buy anything. It never stands up to scrutiny. Oh, oh, you know what else you can’t do? Read a novel, and pick out how many adverbs and adjectives there are. Oh… My… Head. Also, never read a Larry McMurtry book and wait for him to use any word other than ‘said’ in place of the word ‘said’. You darn near can’t stand to read the book once you spot that. Said, said, said, said, said, said… it’ll just ruin it for you.
So. Don’t do that stuff, for sure.
I was an uncooperative interview once.
It was during the first Gulf War. A local TV station called the screen print operation that I worked for, and asked if they could come by and ask about the kinds of shirts we were printing (there were a lot of flags and eagles and things on them)
Turns out they already knew how they wanted the interview to go- the interviewer, who was pretty young and maybe not well experienced in hiding his ideas, kept asking questions that smacked of the term ‘war profiteering’. I can occasionally talk pretty well for myself, and wasn’t going to be led around into saying something that put us into false light.
When the clumsy interviewer asked why we switched from printing shirts for family reunions and church logos to printing shirts with lots of eagles and flags, I dumped it right back in his lap. “Because that’s what customers come in and pay to have printed. I’m not going to tell them they have to order anything other than what they’ve come for, am I? Yes, it’d be nice if they were coming in for FedEx company picnic shirts, but instead, a lot of customers have come in to have shirts supporting the troops printed. What should we print, then?” Of course, the young TV interviewer knew we were supplying our own Tshirt stores, too. I neatly said the same kind of thing. “If customers come to the store for T-shirts with pegasus or unicorns on them, that’s what they can have. If they come for shirts that say “I support the troops”, they can have that, too. We’ll make sure we have whatever designs the public comes in asking for.”
The interviewer left pretty miffed. Mostly, I think, because he wasn’t very good at his job. There may have been a story there, but it wasn’t the one he’d imagined (or sold his editor on?) We weren’t gleefully rubbing our hands together saying, “Oh ho ho ho! Let’s take advantage of this war by selling more T-shirts than usual! Mwuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhhhhh!”
I dunno. Makes you wonder how the TV guy thought stores work.
Seems fitting to take a minute to thank everyone for supporting Hubris, whether by reading it or doing even more- sharing links to the site on social media, telling a friend to check out the site, clicking on the ads, clicking on the Vote Hubris button, donating at the ‘You & Hubris’ button, being a Patreon patron, or buying a book. Thanks, everyone! All that stuff is really helpful in keeping Hubris afloat.
And I should welcome the two new Patrons that joined up last month, which means that this month, Patreon says I get to send you your goodies.
So, again, thanks for reading, clicking, sharing, telling, tip-jarring, patronning, buying, voting and anything else you do. Like commenting. That’s fun, too. Do that.