Should we do another critique week?
Not to make Troy think we’re attacking him.
I was just telling a writer friend of mine (who hasn’t been a writer long) that he shouldn’t take any critique of his first TV script personally. The critique has nothing to do with HIM, after all. It’s about the script, and what’s ready to be put into the hands of producers.
So- there’s the classic classroom admonition about critiques.
Having said that… The perspective bugs me. These days, It’s pretty easy to set up a drawing in the computer where the perspective is dead-on. I don’t know how long ago Troy designed this one or whether he had a computer then, so I don’t know if that’s a valid concern. Either way, I’d like to see better perspective particularly on the lettering on the sign.
Also (and this is a conversation that I just had with a cartoonist Troy just met in Georgia) the details of all the elements of the cartoon have to be considered. It’s ‘colored’ in black and white, just like the movie. So “excellent” on the color scheme. But if Norman Bates is trying to “lure a more exclusive clientele”, he’d add “Master” to the sign in a fancier font (also making it easier to see what’s different from the source material)
There’s my critique. Good color choices, but set up the sign lettering in the computer (I recommend ‘Adobe Illustrator’ in this case) and use the ‘perspective’ tool to drag it into a slick looking perspective. And pick a ‘fancy’ font for “Master” that’ll both draw attention and make Norman look like he was trying too hard. Once all that stuff is done in the computer, you print it out to size, drop it on the light table, put a clean sheet of nice paper on top and ink the livin’ heck out of that fine, fine cartoon.
