Comic
Remember guys- the candy is meant to arrive unbroken, unopened, untested and untasted. Delivering it while riding a unicycle dressed as cupid is goofily romantic, but make sure your skills are up to it. If your diaper or your toga or whatever becomes entangled in the crank or the wheel, well, you’re gonna look stupid and her candy is gonna be broke.
And you STILL have to ask permission before you have any.
It’s all fun and games til somebody gets hurt. So it’s best to bring along someone clumsier than yourself.
This is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. The Unicycle Diaries.
Today, I’m running it as a comic strip, but it might have to get shunted to a Sidebar item, since it’s essentially the same setup over and over with lots of punchlines. That sort of thing looks weird, popping up in the main comic every so often. I’ll try to vary the backgrounds and title color so that you know you’re not looking at the same thing repeating.
So here’s the deal: When you ride a unicycle, whether on the streets, in the parks, on the trails, or anywhere else you can imagine, you get some comments. Not a lot of comments as far as numbers go, but LOTS of comments as far as people go. What I mean is this- ALMOST EVERY PERSON WHO SPEAKS TO SOMEONE ON A UNICYCLE SAYS, “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST OF YOUR BIKE?” Then there are a few people that say a few other things.
I’m not saying that everyone’s being unoriginal. You’re faced with a person on a unicycle. He or she is moving pretty quick and will be gone in a moment. You’d like to say something to them. “Hi” seems sort of dull, given the circumstances. Most people are not dull, and would like to say something better than “Hi.” Most people have a solid sense of humor. So… you very, very quickly scan your mind for something clever to say. What comes out, since you’ve never had previous opportunity to say something to a unicyclist, is “What happened to the rest of your bike.” Perfectly natural.
Now look at it from the point of view of the unicyclist. He’s been here before. Not with you, but with a few dozen other people who went through the same mental gymnastics you have just done. They, too, wanting to say something fun and clever, said, “What happened to the rest of your bike.” But the unicyclist has had time to prepare responses. The unicyclist also does not wish to be dull (no dullard is going to be cruising around on a one-wheeled contraption, anyhow, right?) and so he or she eventually has a long list and needn’t repeat himself or herself. Some responses are quick and silly, some are fun, some are for when you’re three hours into the ride and you can’t stand people any more.
Today’s featured response is a good one. It’s self-deprecating, it’s clever, it’s… not mine. I didn’t make up many responses that other people hadn’t used in some form or another. So I’m not claiming to have written this gag. I’ve lived it, just like most folks who have ridden unicycles.
So from time to time, I will drop in a new Unicycle Diaries page- showcasing various and sundry comments and various and sundry responses. Hope you like that sort of thing.
Does it make it funnier if I mention that the crossing guard’s name is Ms. Stephanie?
I didn’t think so. The fact is, the REAL crossing guard I see most weekdays is Ms. Stephanie. After seeing some of the horrific stuff she has to do out in the street, I told her one day (after Captain America came out) that she didn’t need that fiddly little stop sign- she needed a big ol’ bulletproof shield to smash into car hoods when people blocked the walkways or nearly ran her down. I worry for Ms. Stephanie. People drive CRAZY.
Sorry I’m late with the update, today! Yesterday ran very long, and some things came up. I think I might start trying to prep these things a week or so in advance. You’d think I’d know to do that already, but you know how it goes. Enjoy!
I’ve got Mr. Biner pegged as a particular type… The kind of guy who can’t break his own rules, who can’t stand looking at anyone being silly, and who isn’t going to spend a lot of time working out compromise. He’s an amalgam of a lot of people I’ve met over the years… and if you’ve met folks like that, well, I guess you think he’s pretty funny. If you ARE folks like that, well, I guess you can’t stand reading THIS website.
We gettin’ Hubris all up in this place. Click on some things. ‘Vote Hubris’ comes to mind. Tell a friend. We gotta come up with a party game that involves Hubris somehow.
I imagine a lot of skaters are somehow part of ‘the Shadow Economy’- and it probably makes accounting for a skate/bike/kayak type store an unenviable task all over the country.
Again today, I talked to a reader who only shows up for the comic strips, thus missing out on all the weird and fun sidebar content. That’s fine, I guess, but you’re doing yourself a disservice. Check down the page. There’s fun things. I encourage you especially to check out ‘Talk About Toys’ where all the product reviews and such are. Good stuff. If you really prefer cartoons, then you can certainly look at ‘Other Toons’, and see more silly drawrings. Enjoy. Also, be a buddy and Vote Hubris, Join us on Facebook, Google+ Hubris, StumbleUpon, and Reddit and Twitter and Pinterest and all that stuff! Man, the world in our computers is one crazy place.





















