For anyone who thinks this is far-fetched- I have been to a kayak surfing spot on a river where paddlers are accustomed to call the nearest pizza parlor for delivery. The pizza guy actually drives out into the woods and to the river, then stands there on the bank above the kayakers calling out the name on the order. I figure he can always sell the pizza even if the guy who placed the order doesn’t get his butt up there for his pizza.
Too lazy to make s’mores? Too worried about being in the woods on a campout with sticky fingers and smellin’ like bear bait? They make s’mores and package them. Civilized, and your pants legs don’t wind up with marshmallow smeared all over them where you tried to clean it off your hands.
Or maybe you know a big guy like Lowell whose glucose levels have dropped out…
Carlo Bertocchini and I sent some packages to the syndicates. It was a panel feature called ‘Tom Foolery’, which is a great name. The gags were okay, too- the same kind of magazine-cartoon-turned-newpaper-feature that proliferated for a while. Carlo, whom I met because of The Buckets doing a couple of weeks of BattleBot cartoons, was more dedicated to the project than I was- maybe because I was swamped with advertising cartoon jobs and getting a handle on The Buckets daily schedule. Anyhow, the syndicates never gave us much encouragement, and this was all before I was ready to try a webcomic. Anyhow, here’s some samples of the ol’ Tom Foolery:
Kingman Training 11mm Paintballs (.43 cal) 500 Ct Orange
Woooooo. Paaaaaintball. Now’s the time- it’s not as hot and sticky as it was a month ago, and it’s not as chilly as it’ll be in a month, when the sting of a well-placed ball will HHHHHHUUUUUUUURRRRT. Click on the stuff below if you wanna shop paintball cool stuff.
So you get a little lost… in the dark. If it’s fun, why wouldn’t you send up the same shout the average kid does after a scare…”Do it again!”
Just make sure you have a hands-free light on you. Click below:
I’ll admit it. I hate being the one at the back of the group in a cave. And it’s not because of blind cave crickets. It’s because of things that DON’T exist and never will, but my head is full of them anyway. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not afraid of the Dark. I’m afraid of what television told me is IN the Dark.
Hubris needed one of these:
I don’t wanna creep anybody out.
Seriously, I think paranoia is as big a problem as anybody. And I don’t want to prop up anyone’s fears about how intrusive and scary the modern world can be.
What I do want to do is totally geek out about where Hubris readers are. The computer doesn’t tell me who you are, but it tells me where. (If I was the gov’ment, it might tell me who you are and what you’re up to, but I’m not the gov’ment, and you can keep that junk to yourself, thank you VERY much.)
So anyhow, I’m still learning all this cool stuff that computers do, and I was looking at the statistics for Hubris. There’s a little map that you can click on, and that leads to bigger maps of smaller places until you get a country isolated with little dots. It looks like one of those movie-prop displays where there are aliens or bombs or viruses being watched because there are little circles all over cities where there are Hubris readers. Creepy, huh? I’m old enough to think that’s just amazing.
And today, I fiddled around, finding cities where readers took a few minutes to look at multiple pages on the site, and either returned to look again and again on other days or told friends who came to look- all over the past month.
I wanted to say, “Hi!”
I wanted to greet everyone in their own language, but as you’ve already read Hubris in English, “Hi” ought to get the job done in this case, right?
So “Hi” to readers in:
Shibuya, Japan
Centurion, South Africa
Temuco, Chile
Salamanka, Spain
Kokkola, Finland
Ashquelon, Israel
Masqat, Oman
Mandaluyong, Phillipines
I’m too lazy to keep looking up each dot, and picking and choosing which ones sound extra cool, so that’s enough for today.
I’ll do this again sometime, so if your town’s not here… well, keep coming back. The bigger the blip in the stats, the more I go “Wow! Look at THAT! What a cool place to be, and somebody there is reading Hubris!” Next time, maybe I’ll figure out a theme, or stick to primarily English-speaking countries, or just towns that start with ‘T’ or something. Let me know if you have any suggestions.
Don’t go in a cave without one of these, and even so, pack some aspirin.
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