So I went to the National Cartoonist Society’s Reuben awards this past weekend. Part of the goody bags (totes filled with books, pens, catalogs, drink cozy, pins, shirts, etc.) is the HAT. You had your choice this year of Navy or Pink Hat. My wife and I both took Navy hats. Later during the conference, I noticed that there were still a lot of pink hats left. So I had an idea and asked for another hat. Pink, please. Then went around asking hotshots to autograph it. Of course, I put my official NCS pin on it and a Hubris sticker, just to kick-start the thing.
Archive for Dirty Pictures
Okay, the other day, I posted a Hubris cartoon where Hubris asks Kara if she has a Game Cam set up to monitor for gooses walking across her grave.
For anyone not familiar with these wonderful devices, excellent for monitoring animal movements in prospective hunting areas, or for capturing images of thieves in your backyard, or just for supplying your favorite website with new content, here are some photos from some Game Cams. See if you can spot the creatures and correctly identify them:
Got it? Let’s see how you did:
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Image #1- Deer. Yes, you did very well! These are deer, often recorded on Game Cameras.
Image #2- Squirrel. Well done! What you didn’t realize is that the squirrel is standing amongst the branch he dropped on the Game Cam a mere hour after it was set up. He eventually succeeded in breaking the camera loose and then pawning it in the nearest town.
Image #3- Giant Patagonian Pillbug. This was quite a surprising thing to find photographed, as they were thought to be extinct nearly 40 million years ago. Who knew Game Cams could advance science so easily? Nobel Prize in Zoology!
Image #4- Wukilar. Ha ha. We tricked you. Without any identifiable background elements, it’s impossible to tell that the creature in this alarming photo stands over six feet tall. Otherwise, you’d have known it in a second.
Image #5- Infant Sasquatch. Yes, it DOES look a little like a black squirrel, or maybe even a skunk, but think about it. If there are adult Sasquatch, then there MUST be infants, and here you are- we assume that the tail falls off at puberty.
Image #6- Gray Alien. You can tell from the spindly legs and oddly organized body that this thing wasn’t evolved for Earth Gravity. The Grays are known to be masters of disguise, too, Not growing antlers prevents them from being hunted, and so the Grays can move among the trees, monitoring hunters for any that look inebriated enough for probing. They’re obviously far advanced over our civilization, you can tell from this photo.
Image #7- Right! Loch Ness Monster. You see from the way the water is moving around it’s neck that the creature must be about fifty feet in length. This is one of the finest photos of Nessie ever. Imagine our pride to know that this was taken in Mississippi, thus bringing the Glory of definitive proof of Nessie to the U.S. of A. Maybe now the Scots will invest in some better cameras.
Image #8- Deer. TWO of ’em! Cool, huh?
Don’t miss out on the fun. Get you a crazy techie game camera/time lapse field cam, just for getting your own overnight photos of things that baffle science! (Or at least baffle those that only have a pop-culture notion of what science might be like) Click on the camera below.
I’ve mentioned before that originally, this comic strip was pitched as ‘Because It’s There’, an altogether too-long title.
Here’s the cover letter from the original big package of cartoons sent around to all the syndicates, you know, the way they tell you to do it.
You can tell how old the letter is because ‘$14.4 Billion’ sounds like chump change these days. The last time I tried to check this number (you can’t really- the figures are all different and depend only on who’s compiling them) everyone’s figures seemed to loom around $200 Billion a year.
I got a little interest in Because It’s There. Amy Lago, first with United Media, then with Washington Post Writer’s Group was the most encouraging and helpful. In the end, though, I had to quit working on Because It’s There to concentrate on The Buckets and other money-makers. I couldn’t give up, though. And even though editors (the ones who, at the time, honked on and on about ‘bringing in young readers’, but really just wanted a few hundred thousand older readers instead) couldn’t risk a comic strip that had skateboards and kayaks in it, the web eventually solved that problem for all of us.
And so, there’s Hubris. I’m glad to get to do the feature I would have done from day one, and I’m glad you’re here to read it.
So I’m sketching around, and I’m thinking that if some kind of cheesecake type Kara drawing comes off’a my pencil tip, well, I’ll post it here, right? Then the usual problems kick in. I’m rotten at cheesecake. I haven’t thought of any sort of props and I hate drawings that have girls waving their empty hands around in some ballerina-style random way, aaaaand I tend to, as most 3rd graders would while drawing, tell little stories with the doodle.
First, I think, “Hey, it sorta looks like she’s doing hammer curls.” So I put weights in Kara’s hands. Then, I realize that her arms aren’t quite where I need them, so I erase her arms and fiddle around, then I realize that she’s got a weird thing going on with her butt and her balance. Anyway, I finally thought, “This is stupid and it doesn’t say anything except that Kara has no sense of balance and must be new to doing hammer curls.”
Now is a good time to point out that a hammer curl is something I do when I go to one of those Boot Camp workouts. Three mornings a week, I run around the corner to a park where there are some people who get together with weights and mats and they sweat for an hour before going home and getting the kids ready for school.
When I realize that I’ve been drawing Kara in a boot camp workout, the story gets more elaborate. Would she have been doing this very long? Weeks? Years? Would Hubris go?
I grabbed another sheet of paper, as the ones I’d started with were now over-erased and I needed more room. Hubris entered the sketch. Then, it was funnier. Hubris brought big ol’ Manly weights, and maybe they’re a little too big and too manly. Kara wouldn’t make that mistake, though her posture still isn’t optimum for workin’ out.
I wish I was Jeff. He does all the coolest stuff. For instance, he takes pictures of things and places. In this case, Switzerland. In order to take such pictures, you have to GO there. That’s the really cool part. The pictures are just the way he either shares the experience with us, or thumbs his nose goin’ “Nyeh nyeh, look what I did.” How you take it is entirely up to you. I know Jeff, and I can tell you that he’s a happy soul who’d be pleased to share the whole trip with us, not just photos, but it wasn’t in his budget. So take it in the spirit it’s given! Here are photos of High-Altitude Switzerland, about which Jeff had this to say:
You might not always believe it- depending on how far behind I am when I draw up each cartoon- but I do have character sheets on Hubris and his folk. I keep a 20X30 board with the various sheets stuck to it over my drawing board. Here’s the main image:
This thing was done long before the website started up, back when I thought newspapers were going to be the venue for Hubris. So for a couple of years, the board (black foamcore) was mostly to block sunlight from falling across my light table (I draw on a light table. There are some great and efficient things you can do on a light table. I learned that from Hy Eisman during a Joe Kubert seminar yeeeeaaaars ago. I’m grateful for those seminars.)
I also have a .jpg of this image that I call up when I’m coloring. It’s titled ‘color grab file’, and I do just that- grab colors to use on the new strips. Computers are great and efficient, too. Waaay back in the day, when I was still doing the Shoney’s restaurant children’s menus/activity books (anyone want me to do a Hubris activity book?) and I first took over the coloring duties because I had one’a them newfangled computers, I inherited a color palette from the big company who had been doing the color work. Every color had a number. I use a wacom tablet and could select with one hand while keying colors with the other hand. It was a little like piano, and the activity menus got colored quick, man, quick.
So, I’m doing more ads. If you’re like me and you troll around the web, looking at all the amazing webcomics, you might stumble across’t the ads. Here’s the drawings that got used in the new batch:
Like many of you, no doubt, I was raised in a reg’lar old ranch style house in what a friend of mine likes to call ‘Sheet Rock Hell’, but I like to recall with nostalgia.
Growing up in the sort of neighborhood filled for a generation or so with houses like that, there are occasionally, but not often, poison ivy plants growing at the backs of flower beds or under hedges. You learn “leaves of three, let it be” and all that.
Then you go on cub scout camping trips and find yourself hiking ankle deep in stuff that you’re suddenly and alarmedly told is poison ivy. (In my part of the U.S., there are rumors that poison oak and poison sumac exist, and we’re warned about them by books and magazines designed to, democratically, go all over the country. We might make fun of yankees, but we pity them for these other poison plants they have to deal with. Also, we pity them for having to live with the New York accents we have to hear on TV. Eek. Wouldn’t want to have to hear that nasal snarl every day of normal life. Better to hear the cottonmouthed slur of our own accents, yeah?) ((But I, as usual, digress))
Out in the woods, you have to look over the plants underfoot more carefully. A lone poison ivy plant next to a holly bush at the edge of a neatly trimmed lawn? Easy to spot. A poison ivy plant standing amongst a riot of other ground cover, or, God help you, trailing up the side of a tree and pretending to be a grapevine ripe for young Tarzans? Trickier to spot and avoid.
Which brings me to my point. Not that you’d snatch any of these plants off the ground and eat them, but here are all the three-leaves-in-a-cluster plant types that I found simply by walking four blocks north of my home. Granted, that took me past a home where the front lawn has been allowed to become a ‘wildflower’ yard (meaning the owner of the property is himself old, can’t pay to have the expensive ceramic roof tiles replaced, or to pay someone to resurrect a yard from which I once found a raccoon had tumbled out into the sidewalk, dead from something I don’t care to guess.) and also takes me along the back edge of the local zoo, where a strip of dirt has until recently been between two chainlink fences and has therefore run wild for as long as anyone cares to remember. The drifts of Fall leaves are, once or twice a year, blown out of there, but otherwise, it’s home to chipmunks, birds, squirrels, the occasional surprising and surprised duck, and sometimes chickens that have released themselves on their own recognizance from the ‘Once Upon A Farm’ coop which is the part of the zoo at its back edge.
Again, I have digressed. You probably expected that by now.
Here’s the leaves:
Not all of them are poison ivy. In fact, there are three sets of leave here that I might handle without gloves. On the other hand, why take chances? Can you reliably tell what’s what? I’m not sure I can, and it worries me.
So here’s the bigger question. What the heck did poison ivy evolve its properties to protect itself FROM?
So, there’s the wonderful Memphis Flyer that I’ve mentioned before, yeah? Well, they had eighteen local artists paint on eighteen of their newspaper boxes, and they had a party, and they’re putting our boxes here and there around town. I assume in eighteen different places. Larry Kuzniewski, professional photographer with a cool studio and everything, even took our photos with the boxes. Very nice. I mangled Larry’s photo of me, see? I did a surreal photoshop thing and gave you a peek at four sides of the box and all. And, if you think that must be Kara falling off a skateboard on the top of the box, well, you’d be right, and you’d be generous of spirit and not blame me for wanting to do that, right?
•UPDATE• Now you can see all the arty boxes, and vote for one you like. (I’m not saying you have to vote for mine… hang on a minute. Yes, I AM saying you have to go vote for mine.) Go vote HERE.
That’s my ancient Dregs 44″ sitting in front of the box, too. The board over my shoulder is one my kids and I painted.





















