Hubris Comics

Here’s a thing you can either learn or, if you already know it, nod smugly about.

Once paintballs spill out of your gun’s hopper, you don’t pick them back up and pour them back into the hopper.

You’d think that’d be fine, right?  I mean, they’re splattery things anyhow, so how could a little dirt or lint make a bit of difference?

You’d think that and be wrong, I tell ya.

You’ve paid good money for those paintballs, but if you want to enjoy the rest of the game, you don’t want them in your gun (actually, I think the term is ‘Paintball Marker’, not gun.  If they call them ‘guns’, then they have to legislate little orange tips on the barrels, so the cops don’t think you’ve got a real gun… like you could put an eye out with or anything.  Anyway, that’s what I heard)

Dirty paintballs tend to explode before they leave the barrel of your rented paintball gun marker thingy.  And that’s bad for all the paintballs that come after it, because then THEY don’t sail swimmingly through that barrel either, and you wind up looking pretty vile, spewing goop out of your gun while giving away your position and getting shot to bits… you get the idea.

So, all you  beginner paintballers- make sure the lid on your hopper is secure and don’t bobble the gun around as you run.  And if you HAVE to resort to paintballs retrieved from their landing places on the ground- make sure they’re the last shots you’re gonna get before somebody shoots you on the shoulder and leaves one of those weirdly colorful bruises that are so much fun to show to co-workers and family!