Leave it to Paste to sell people something when there’s nothing to sell.
He’s a good boy.
7 Comments
Archive for comic
2391 comics.
Healthy food, exercise, time outdoors… there’s no way this is how love is supposed to be, is it?
Where’s the TV binge watching with chips and drinks?
Wishful thinking is what humans are GOOD at! We see a brightly colored berry as we wander the savannas of the ancient world, and it’s all “Hey, that doesn’t look poisonous, but nutritious and appetizing” and then our bloodline dies out of the world.
That may be an extreme example. But if you’re in a gym, and you see an area marked off by waist high walls, and floored with the kind of mats they had in your preschool and kindergarten days, why WOULDN’T that be an area for napping, I wanna know!
I mean Lowell. He wants to know.
Lowell knows that you do workouts for yourself- your self image, your health, your peace of mind, your whole life. What he probably doesn’t know is that you do workouts hoping that people you’re kinda sweet on like your new self image, your new health, your new peace of mind, and your whole new life… or at least that they know you’ve GOT all that new stuff, and that they don’t think you’re just the same old lump you’ve always been before you got slightly more buff and happy. We SHOULD know that’s why we do it, but it’s instinctive. We like to think we’re making forebrain actions and not brainstem reactions.
Or at least that what I like to think. And I think that’s what Lowell likes to think.
Sucking in your gut never does as much for you as you think, and never does more for you than just looking happy in your own skin.
On the other hand, there must be some kinda instinct or something to stand up straight and suck in the gut when around people we want to be better for.
Lowell never used to worry about stuff like that, did he? Now here he is at Fitness Protection Program. We should start an office pool thingy and everyone guess how long his membership lasts. And another one to guess how long he’ll pay on the membership after he quits.
You want a job done, and then find that the job’s done?
Come on down to Clem Twang’s handyman depot, where you can get rooftop snoozers removed faster than you can say, “remove that rooftop snoozer”.
Literally faster than that, ’cause it’s already done!
Call Clem, TODAY!
Durnell’s not one to crush anyone’s dreams without good reason.
If the good reason happens to be that newspapers don’t pay money enough for people to live on, well, it’s not gonna be Durnell who kicks a guy like Clem when he’s down!
Nossir! He’s gonna tell him fair and square that they’ve got a good job for him the very minute that they lose their minds.
More to the point, though, they’ve got a crappy job for him right now.
Clem wants to find another employer who needs his gift of gab!
Why NOT search amongst the friendly new crowd he’s discovered over the past month or so (That’s how long it’s been since Dub tried to rob the store, isn’t it?)
Who you’re taking advantage of and why depends entirely on who you think YOU are.
If you’re an employee, you’re taking advantage of your employers because “Fairness”- like, they take advantage of you, so they gotta expect the same in return, right?
If you’re an employer, you’re taking advantage of your employees ’cause that’s why you pay ’em! Like, you have money to spend and jobs that need doing, and they have skills to sell, right?
If you’re the child of an investor father, and you’re a little hungry, you take advantage of a frankly complicated mess of a business by having a restaurant paid for by the bunch of investors your father has lined up. Like, it might pay off and make you a financial genius whiz-kid, or at worst you get some free food when no one’s looking.
Paste is getting a taste of what fame is like.
Hey! maybe his Mom or Dad could be put in charge of a conservatorship and control his life until he can sue them and then he can be really and truly famous!
He be blowin’ up the Twitters, y’all! Boom!
