So, TSOJ sent in this neat thing- the Invisible Bike Helmet. It’s a little misnamed. I’d have called it the AirHeadBag. But then it wouldn’t sell as well.
Click HERE to watch!
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The Tweens
If you ask an eleven year old what the “tweens” are, they will broodingly tell you it is the transition time from being a snot nosed kid to being a proper teenager.
If you ask a redneck what a “taint” is, he will likely put his Bud Light Clamato down long enough to joyfully explain the anatomy of it.
If you ask a football player what a shoulder season is, he will tell you it’s the time you have immediately before your throwing arm goes out and you have to start selling used cars in Albuquerque.
Now, I will tell you the REAL definition of these three words/phrases.
Tweens: modern English – slang. The time between mountain biking season and ski season.
Taint: traditional red-neck – slang. “Taint mountain biking season and ‘taint yet ski season… it’s the wet spot in b’tween”
Shoulder season: proper outdoor speak. Late fall, when there’s snow in the mountains, but the ski areas aren’t open yet and you paid so much for your backcountry skis that you’re not going to go out and trash them on hidden rocks.
In my house it’s easy to tell that the tweens have struck. Usually, the time of the taint is marked by me standing in front of the window trying to force snow out of the clouds with my Jedi mind tricks, or I’m in the garage stroking my skis while whispering, “my preeeecious…”
This weekend I walked around the house in my bike shorts with my ski helmet on, while my kids looked at me with a mix of pity and disappointment. Then, my phone rang and my buddy, Geoff, told me the bike trails weren’t too muddy and we should get one last ride in. I accepted this lie, and ran outside to load my bike in the car.
The trail we picked was in Sage Hills near Wenatchee, WA. It was cold. Dark rain clouds were rolling in. I hadn’t had lunch. We were looking at an hour of hard, steep climbing and my toes were already frozen.
In other words… awesome on a stick.
The ride was fantastic (if you don’t put much stock in numb toes, cold fingers, burning lungs, tired legs, dirt in my eye, soaking wet clothes, and getting snowed and rained on). After the snow started, the trail got a little sloppy and the traction was either fun or scary depending on your point of view. The final descent was bliss with a cherry on top. Neither of us left the bike unintentionally and we both made it to the car with big smiles. It’s hard to beat that on a shoulder season weekend.
On the drive back, Geoff and I faced the fact that we had indeed ridden the last ride of the season; and rode it well, I should add. I hosed off the bike and hung it lovingly in the garage with a little tear forming in my eye (the one with dirt in it). Now the real waiting can begin.
Next weekend the trails will probably be too soft or iced over, and only the guys who like skiing on rocks will be up in the mountains. I’ll just stay here and have a cup of tea with my ski boots on, and try to invent a new sport for the shoulder season. Maybe something involving Yard Darts. I’ve always liked Yard Darts.
Ed: The above lawn dart photo was lifted, by the editor, from THIS blog, where you can go and view it in its natural state, along with some photos of scooters and cool things. It’s a lovely photo, don’t you think?
JackTheBlack4444 is making my job easier these days by putting good stuff into my inbox for you.
He says we ought to be doing this, and I can’t imagine any of us are disagreeing.
The only problem I see is that you have to play in the mud and rain if you expect to get good and disgustingly filthy. Like in paintball. Or disc golf, assuming you’re doing it right. Or, you know, in anything. Well, watch the video and check out the website HERE
You may have noticed the tinkering I’ve been doing with the background elements. The art is from the new sticker/Tshirt/poster/skatedeck art I’ve been tinkering with. I had it up like this first:
That didn’t work. It was eye-popping, so I swapped it out for this:
That was still messing with folk’s ability to read the comment section, so for those of us who aren’t as computer-savvy as AllanVS, I’ve now swapped it again to this nice monochrome blue. We’ll test-phase it for a day or two, and then either leave it for a while, or maybe dim it down a bit if it’s still causing legibility issues. [Edit. There were, in fact, still legibility issues. I’ve dimmed it. Let me know what you think.]
And here is the tiny cute sticker I just ordered a pile of:
They’ll be the same vinyl as the original round stickers, so they’re pretty much weatherproof.
If you’ve read this far in what has seemed to be a pretty pointless blog post, I’ll reward you with this- I’m talking to an agent who I will hopefully be engaging in some capacity soon, and who will hopefully get me to a position where I’m running ’round the country to a few comics conventions next year (some of you might remember that I had hoped to pull that off for this past year, but it turns out that it takes a LOT more planning than I can often put into things) So we’re looking at what sorts of things tend to go well at conventions, that you guys might like to have. Stickers, obviously, and the so-called ‘lapel pins’ which have become ‘lanyard pins’ at conventions. I’m partway through with the cover for the next Hubris book, which will feature the Great Stanky Creek/Snake Oil Outdoorfest, and will (this is the time-consuming part) have some of the stuff that you guys had hoped to see in the website, but that I cut out for various reasons. If you’d like to make sure that I remember to include your favorite games or characters in the book version, click the ‘contact’ or ’email’ button now and remind me.
‘Poster’ has already come up as a possibility for the new design (Here’s an extra trivia game for you- who knows what company I’m parodying with the new design?) and of course, I’ll have to do shirts. Maybe hats, but I have two other designs I want to do on hats. I have a neat idea about the shirts, and I don’t know if it’ll pan out, but I’m checking into it.
There you go- all the news that fit to speculate about. You guys tell me what you’d like to see me doing- what products, what conventions, whatever… and I’ll tell my (hopefully) new agent, and we’ll see where it goes.
Also, if you’d like some stickers, as always, send me a photo or product review or something. Or if you’ve already sent me something I’ve used to pad out my Tuesdays or Thursdays (sporadically, lately) then remind me of your address, and I’ll send stickers- even if I’ve already sent some before. I probably owe you more than stickers, so speak up, I’ll send ’em. I still have some of the round ones, and some of the larger paper ones, and soon, the new design.
New Reader JackTheBlack4444 sent this in:
Did a mud run with Miss Fit’s group and raised a ridiculous amount for St. Jude (Children’s Hospital), something like 10 grand. Mostly due to the fact that Miss Fit is a fitness model and has a legion of fan boys. But that is beside the point.
It’s sort of a Blues Brothers meets Swamp Thing look, isn’t it? Very cool. Especially on a hot day.
Got a photo you’d like to see here? I’d like to post it! Click the ‘contact’ button on the site, or the ’email’ button to send the photo or the URL.
