Jeff Outdoors –
Coconut Bra
The man abuses outdoor gear, so you don’t have to
I was invited to ski the last day at Alta last year. I found out when I got there that it was a tradition to dress up for the occasion. I like to fit in, so on top of my shorts and ski boots, I put on a wig, a bone necklace, a bead necklace, a coconut bra, and a grass skirt.
I learned from the experience that all coconut bras are not made equal. This particular coconut bra (I’m sorry, I didn’t get the make and model) was quite uncomfortable and not easily adjustable. Fortunately, it was below freezing, and I lost most of the feeling in the upper part of my body, so I didn’t notice the chaffing.
Pros:
- Makes anyone instantly dead-sexy
- Protects the nipples like nothing else I’ve worn
Cons:
- Poor adjustment
- Not good against bare skin
- It’s a coconut bra
Bottom Line:
If you are going skiing at Alta on the last day, go for the Sasquatch costume… way warmer.
Shop the Coconut Bra. Click on a Nut. Y’know you wanna.
I may be just be loopy, this being the first morning in over a week that I had to be up before 11 am, but that’s hysterical. Fortunately, Dicks and REI don’t carry coconut bras, so there’s no way for me to verify your review during our harsh Wisconsin winter.
I’m looking at the link to the coconut bras that Greg found, and I’m thinking that girl is dead-sexy. So there’s one verified fact. I suppose you’ll just have to take my word on the chafing.
You might be forced to shop those things at Party City. Hang on. I’ll try to find a link.
Booyah. Coconut Bras for sale, Here at House O’ Hubris. We’re going to the dogs, these days.
Greg … seeing you with just a coconut bra on, scares the bejeezus out of me.
Please, don’t ever do that again, or, I’ll starting singing about wearing a teeny tiny, little polka-dot bikini … and you KNOW what I look like! 😀
I hope you think that’s me in the advertising photo- ’cause I ain’t been on skis since I was in high school.
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Everybody, I’d like you to meet Jeff Outdoors- he’s the guy on the right wearing the purple wig in the photo above. He didn’t say who the guy standing next to him in the photo is, and even if I have a guess that it might be Karl, I don’t know for sure.
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And as nice you are, Allan, you send in a photo of you in a bikini, I’ma run it in the ‘dirty pictures’ section. Swear I will.
LOL@Greg … I ain’t stupid enough to even BUY a bikini!