Buying candy for the holidays is a strategic hot mess.

For instance, I used to do as John here does.  I’d buy what I liked and gave out as few as I felt I could give, short of making myself feel miserly.

-Meaning if you were over sixteen and you didn’t have a costume and you came along at the end of the evening when the happy families were home already- your chances were pretty dang slim that you’d get one of my ‘100 Grand’ bars.

Nowadays, I’ve had disappointing talks with doctors and with other people my age and I buy candy that I couldn’t care less about and don’t enjoy.  Or, so far this year, I let my wife purchase the candy because she always gives me dirty looks as though she knows what that bag weighs and will cave in my skull if she detects an ounce of candy has been taken from the bag and added to my gut.