So my first kayaking helmet was a Pro-Tec thing made out of plastic. It was white, and I drew all over it, as is my wont.
The attractiveness of my paddling skills and my helmet were of the same caliber. By which I mean, the helmet was not a thing to admire and nobody would ever look at me and think, “Guy like that needs a better looking helmet.”
But I kept at it, and eventually quit wearing my giant overstuffed lifejacket (PFD, at the time) and this overly goony looking helmet. I got a svelte PFD and a cool fiberglass helmet.
Then, I took a look at my old helmet, which I could not bear to throw away for any number of reasons, and decided, “This COULD be goonier looking.”
You ever see one of those goth kids that can’t quite pull off the look, so they decide to go sort of Goth-Absurd? That look that says, “Yeah, you wanna make fun of me? I made it so easy that you won’t bother.”
That’s what I did to my old helmet. Got a sheet of closed-cell foam, made me a shark fin, and had the whole thing painted by a buddy who works in enamels.
The problem with doing this is that the helmet becomes a funny thing to look at, but you can hardly ever find a time or place to wear it. I found it in my kids’ closet the other day. It’s a little worse for wear, but I have no idea who’s been wearing it, or what’s been wearing on it.
I need to think of a good place for this thing. Or a good place to wear it.