You ever tried to ride one of those crazy things? I have. There’s a STEP welded to the frame so that you can step up and get into the seat and reach the pedals! You have to start the thing moving and leap onto it in motion! Crazy design. just… nuts.
Brother Jeff interviews himself.
Interviewer Jeff: It looks like you just got back from a bike ride. I can see there’s mud on your teeth.
Biker Jeff: Yes. I tend to smile a lot when I’m cruising down a muddy single track.
IJ: So, you enjoy mountain biking after a rain?
BJ: After, during, before. It doesn’t matter. When the trail’s muddy it seems like a whole new trail. It’s a nice change of pace. You have to change your style. Lean back a bit more, check your speed, stay off the brakes in the turns, anticipate the slide, blame the kids for the muddy footprints in the kitchen when your wife gets home…
IJ: Did you wipe out today? You know, take a tumble, taco a rim, get another concussion?
BJ: Nope. I haven’t wrecked this season except for that one jump at Squilchuck back in August. I had no problem going off the jump, but I must have forgotten to make sure the bike was under me for the landing. I lost a little skin, but I wasn’t using it for anything at the time. And, as for the concussion last year, I don’t think I had a concuss… it was… What was the question?
IJ: I don’t remember the question. I think we were just talking to our-self.
Hey, did you see any wildlife on the trail today?
BJ: No attack-grouse today, and no rattlesnakes on the trail, but the damage from the big boys was all over.
IJ: Damage? Big Boy’s? Did someone attack a Shoney’s?
BJ: No, man, the animals… the deer have been using my trail and tearing it up. Then there are the elk. The only difference between an elk and a furry post-hole digger is that a post-hole digger doesn’t poop while it’s making holes in your trail.
BI: How about bears?
BJ: Funny I should ask me that question. There was a young bear just ahead of me today. I never got a look at him/her, but I heard him/her up in the brush when I got off the bike to take pictures. I accidently chased him/her back in the summer at the same spot (if it’s the same bear). Jet black, small, and really fast – faster than I am on the bike going full speed.
IJ: Aren’t you worried you’ll get attacked?
BJ: No. I don’t think he can ride a bike, and I’m pretty sure the service berries taste better than me. That said, if he ever gets tired of being chased, I’ll have to do some swift negotiation involving peanut butter, ‘cause there’s no way I could outrun him.
IJ: Well, there you have it, folks. That’s all the time I care to spend talking to myself. Until next time, happy autumn trails!
I like to ride my bike on my trails. I really like to ride my bike on my trails.
The one thing that I like almost as much as riding on them, is digging on them. I like shaping berms, putting in jumps, smoothing out and filling in elk hoof prints… you know, just regular trail stuff.
It’s a ton of work, and it’s not exactly clean work, so on the surface, it would appear that I either have a problem with self abuse, or I’m stupid.
It’s also possible that I just like to get my mind on something other than work, family, bills, and clowns (ever since Poltergeist, I’ve had a constant low-grade fear of clowns… don’t watch that movie if you are younger than 30).
The bonus is that when I spend a couple of hours with Billie, the Wonder Adze and Rico the antique garden rake (you name your tools too, right?) I get to try out the improvements on my BIKE!
Another benefit comes to mind. When I’m riding the trails, my focus is generally on not flying off said trails, which would require removing sage brush from my orifices. When I’m working on the trails I get to see the view. And man, what a view it is.
I snapped this photo yesterday, then I unwittingly chopped into a termite mound. Termites do not like to be disturbed AND the dern things fly. Thank goodness they don’t look like clowns. That could be a deal breaker.
Kayote says
Bontrager Rollbar bike tool.
First- bought this to replace two other bike tools. Both were the two-piece kind. One of those, the two pieces slid together and did not lock. It also did not have the large Allen wrench Hex-wrench whatever you want to call it that fitted the crank on my good bike. It was stupid. I could never find both pieces at once because they slid apart in my pack. Second one, really good two-piece snap-together wrench with all the sizes of Allen wrenches. Until the snap broke, then I could only fine one part usually, and it wasn’t the part I needed.
Bought the Bontrager. One piece. With the chunky big Allen (8 mm). 11 tools, good size, good weight. BRIGHT SHINEY RED means it’s easy to see when you drop it. No more looking for little black tools that look like every other little black doohickey ever invented. And I didn’t have a lot of money to spend on a new tool. This one fit the bill.
So, good stuff- price, size, useful parts, color even. Bontrager Rollbar. Okay.
And bad stuff- no chain tool, one tire tool, no box-end wrench.
I get around the bad stuff by: never having fooled with a chain on the trail,
using whatever else there is for a second tire tool- usually one of the four or five loose tire tools that are rattling around in my camelback,
and having two little wrenches- one adjustable and one ratchet in my pack long before I bought this tool.
There you go.
I’ve been told I SHOULD be fixing chains on the trail, instead of being a punk and walking out. If you need a chain tool, click on the one below and shop ’em.
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