When I was young, I was gonna have a mansion with a whitewater kayaking artificial river around it. But I’m not a real estate developer in Dubai, so never mind.
Nothing looks as good on GoPro video as it looked in real life.
Which makes you wonder how mind blowing all that really incredible stuff in their commercials was to the people strapped to the cameras.
You knew the skylight would turn up again, didn’t you?
It’s been a while since I dropped in another page of Weirdbeard, so here’s number 5.
Yeah, I know… Crusade, Knight, Pirates… the timeline is all tangled. I ignored all historical accuracy in order to shovel in as many fun things to draw as possible. Ooooh first rope, then chain mail!
You know what’s handy? Having a roll of tape on you. In the same way that I advocated keeping a cheapy backpack full of ropes and straps, I advocate keeping a few rolls of different kinds of tape handy. Duct tape, Gorilla tape, Box tape, Electrical tape, Safety tape, whatever kind of tape you’ve ever had to stop a job to go look for or, more specifically, whatever kind of tape you’ve ever had to throw up your hands and announce to the heavens “What I wouldn’t give for just a little (fill in kind of tape here)”
Here’s my current collection of tape- all dangling from a handy piece of rope that’s got a biner holding the ends together. Good thing to have in the trunk of your car, or the bottom of your camp box or wherever you’re most likely to need it.
Once, I was showing this pile of tape to a pile of Cub Scouts and trying to explain that it’s really good to have with you. They weren’t buying it, particularly, until one of the Boy Scouts from across the hall came in and said they’d broken a window playing dodgeball. Their motto, “Be Prepared”, wasn’t being followed, and they didn’t have a replacement window on them. Or tape. They asked me for tape, which seems odd, since what they needed was another window. Still, I had the tape.
The Cub Scouts saw the tape, and it was good.
Other times, I’ve used the tape to patch tents, tent poles that had cracked, hold a damaged tail light in place until we were done getting where we were going, and various other odd things. On the other hand, when you’ve got a hammer, all problems look like a nail. Turns out that you CAN make a short length of fairly useful rope out of twisted duct tape, if absolutely necessary.
Got Tape?
Back to the Nostalgia Run! Er… Climb. I like this one. Maybe I should have resurrected it for new art and color. Maybe I will, years from now, when none of you guys remember having read it. I’m sneaky that way.
You want some advice? Keep a bag or pack full of ropes and straps in your vehicle.
Back when I kayaked more often, I got in the habit of leaving a daypack full of NRS straps in my truck. (It’s one of those trucks that people insisted on calling an SUV so that the soccer moms would want one. Phfft. It’s on a truck frame. It’s a truck.) When we were loading kayaks and canoes, I just reached in the back and, under something, there were my straps.
They came in handy another time when I was helping a buddy move into his apartment too, but then when we turned our backs for a minute, a homeless guy snagged my pack full of straps and ropes. I’m neither/nor when it comes to being a Democrat or a Republican. I’m enough of one to hope that he got some good use out of my gear, and enough of the other to hope that he accidentally hanged himself with them. And I’m just plain human, so I hope they cost him something somewhere in his life.
Anyhow, I ponied up the money to replace my nice NRS straps and the climbing-grade ropes we used to tie down boats, and I’ve never regretted having them. I have been really ticked off when my wife cleans out my messy, manky, mucky truck and ‘puts away’ my strap pack. Usually, I’m out somewhere and need a strap or rope to secure something and they’re not there. I swear a lot and then locate them upon returning home. They go back into the truck until the next cleaning.
The pack, which has now expanded to the truck pack and a bag that hangs in my storage building, is full of some oddish stuff now that it’s been around for years, too. Bungee cords, a coil of nylon rope you can get at Lowes or Home Depot, some bungee thingies with weird clippy bits on the ends, some twine that I suspect simply crawled in there one day and set up housekeeping. The NRS straps (not all of which are NRS straps, y’know, some are other brands) are various lengths and colors. When I first started the bag and needed the straps every few days, the straps were neatly rolled up and rubber banded. Now they look like a viper pit on orgy day. Tangled, and happy to be so.
Handy, though. Bike rack wobbling a little on the interstate? Strap it! Luggage needs to be on the roof ’cause you packed the living hell out of the rest of the truck? Strap it! I even saw a buddy of mine pull a prussic made of spectra rope out of his truck, attach it between two bumpers, pull another guys truck out of the muck, and destroy a carabiner in the process. The knots will likely never come out of that rope, either.
So, bottom line- if you have a disused pack lying around, and a tangle of ropes, bungees and straps here and there- make a single unit out of all of it and toss it in your adventure vehicle. If you don’t have a vehicle dedicated to adventure- well, this is a first step in that direction, ain’t it?
Don’t have straps? You can shop some here. They’re not the big clunky ones with the hooks and ratcheting thingamabobs, but by golly, I’ve used these straps to hold kayaks on trucks, gear in canoes, gear in rafts, kayaks on rafts, bikes on racks, and even to tighten sixteen staves together while the glue set between them to make a cub scout drum body. Probably set a leg with one if you had to.
Handy, handy, handy. Shop ’em by clicking on the picture below.
Scott Outdoors-
The Force Of Will
Outdoor adventure is where my heart is. Rafting, hiking, camping are things that get my blood racing by mere mention. It only makes sense my kids grew up exposed to those activities. Of course it makes me proud my son, Ben, is scheduled to climb 9,000 feet, Mt Baker this summer. His first multi day ascent will bring new experience and appreciation for life and nature.
Many times I have left the door open for other kids and adults to learn and become more familiar with the outdoors along my side. My friend, Kevin, has worked with at risk children for years and used our joint knowledge of the wilderness as a tool in guiding them. A few years back he and I found ourselves in just that situation. My kids, a couple of local kids and a few adults were camping in Savage Gulch north of Chattanooga. Our special guest was Will. Will was 6′ 2″ and near 300 pounds at 14 years old. He epitomized Ghetto Fabulous. My entire backpack didn’t weigh as much as the gold hub cap he wore around his neck. When I expressed interest in calling an old Army buddy that spoke several languages to interpret, Kevin explained Will was talking to us using street slang. I asked if he would just draw me pictures of what he wanted. I did find it interesting that “butterfaith” is what you call girls that are really cute but too involved in church to hang out with the bad boys. I was also interested to learn that a “freetimer” is someone who’s unemployed and doesn’t have a wardrobe but a “floordrobe”. That is more simply explained as keeping your clothes in piles on your floor, clean pile, dirty pile and most likely clean pile.
I had been around kids like Will before this trip, so I wasn’t amazed when he espoused to have more life experience in his brief time on Earth than my 30 something years of travel and adventure. His bravado didn’t even wear thin when Kevin and I set up a 200 foot rappel on a nearby cliff. Will actually volunteered to be the first one over the edge. Though I am sure Will had tons of experience rappelling in the projects of Nashville, I made him sit through the instruction period with rest of the kids and adults. I explained to all there is one phrase you should always keep ready, belay on. Belay on is the simple instruction for the safety man (belayer) at the bottom of the rope to pull it… taunt. This action brings the person on the rope to a complete stop and a chance to rest or prepare to finish the rappel.
Kevin and I set the order of decent. I went first to test the ropes, followed by my son and so on. Kevin was the safety man on the top and Will would take his turn last. All went well and I understand that Will’s enthusiasm didn’t waiver. When he was attached to the rope, Kevin said Will walked over the cliff edge without hesitation. Will dropped out of sight faster than Michael Jackson at an all girl’s school. Kevin’s yell for BELAY echoed from the neighboring canyon walls. I stared straight up at a huge hurling mass flying down the rope. I pulled the rope with every ounce of strength in me and only slowed Will’s decent. The seconds seemed like minutes and I pictured myself being crushed by this size 42 butt from above. How would my kids explain my death? My dad was crushed by a ghetto beast? What would my tomb stone say? “Here lies Scott. Proof too much Will can be fatal”. I closed my eyes and began the Lord’s Prayer when I finally felt the jerk in the rope that accompanied the stop of the person rappelling when belayed. By this time I had laid so far back on the rope and pulled so hard I was parallel with the ground. To see above me I only had to open my eyes. Above me less than 3 feet dangled Will’s feet. Hands hanging by his sides, he exclaims “That is dope! I’m doing it again!”
Covered in a pool of sweat and shaking from what I considered a near death experience for both of us I lowered him to the ground. “No” I answered, “I think it is time to go back to camp. I think I have some clean shorts there.”
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