If anyone’s wondering if I lifted the ‘lost a buttock’ line from Harry Potter…
Yeah. Mad Eye was a wise ol’ guy.
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My wife doesn’t play paintball with us any more. The kids are older, of course, and can play without her worrying that she’s missing out on their childhoods.
Aaaaaand there’s the fact that when they were younger and she was playing with me, and the kids, and their friends (birthday party, I think) she was hit during the game, announced she was hit, held her gun over her head and was exiting the area when one of my oldest son’s best buddies shot her in the butt. That really might have been the last time she played.
I still have a photo of her right cheek and the incredible colors that the bruised turned.
What do they tell the cops when they get there? “Yes, we called because the lady was having a fit of some kind. No, we weren’t able to keep her here, because Bob gave her his pants.” and “Her description? Well, let’s see, 5’5”, brown hair, glasses, and waving a pair of men’s surf shorts over her head shouting “Different Ones!”… “What’s that officer? Oh. The shorts were red.”
