Have you seen those things? The pocketknives that can no longer fit in your pocket? You start off thinking “Oh, that’d be great, having everything you could ever need, there in your pocket”, but then once you’ve messed up the right front pocket of every pair of pants you own, you start thinking,”Maybe I could do without the fork.” because, let’s face it, you don’t use the fork more than once a month, right? And have you tried eating with the spoon on those pocketknives? You get soup all over the thing, and then the leather hook won’t open any more, and you always seem to bend a thumbnail back while you’re trying to get the can opener pulled out, which is stupid because you were trying to get the screwdriver bottle opener out anyhow. Plus, once it’s been in your pocket for a month or two, you pull a lint ball out of the back of the knife that’d frighten anything with a sense of what’s naturally supposed to exist on earth. I dunno. I finally went back to a single blade pocketknife, and occasionally I’ll grab one of the little multi-tools I’ve accumulated over the years. I carry that around for a month or two until I realize I haven’t used IT either the whole time, and just give it all a miss.
But those Mega-Ultra-Scout Knives with the LED flashlights and awl punches and the grooved corkscrew all made of surgical steel… ohhhh, I might have to get another one of those one day…
I learned in sales, no matter what you have, no matter what the customer asks for… if you have exactly what they want it’s still not what they want. (hematite jewelry went really hot, and I made over a thousand pieces of unique items, over 600 different styled necklaces mixed with almost anything you could think of… people would go through the huge display then look me right in the eye and ask “Do you have any more?” They seen ALMOST what they wanted but they want something just a little different than… they expected me to use my magic fairy wand and pop it into existence at a show hundreds of miles from home. No I didn’t bring my entire workshop and stock; no I can’t nip home and make it; best I can do is custom and ship it after I get home. Nope, make it appear now for dollar store prices. (sound of me hitting head on wall) This IS Retail….)
You sure you’re not running Outdoor Galore in real life in your garage or something, Greg?
Ah, the magic fairy wand you are looking for weighs about a ton and is hollow. It can hold ten tons of cargo I think.
The only ones of those you can find usually are ‘gently preowned’ which means that the clutch went out and you will NOT find parts for it, EVER.
Although, I think what you’re referring to is the self mobile version, aka a C-130. Problem is parking one of those….
Gasp! Who are you to be so wise in the way of Magic Fairy Wands?
Back long ago, very very far back, I liked having that kind of army knife thing. At the time, the most elaborate ones in the store had the folding fork, corkscrew and spoon, plus three different large blades. And it was just as you said, Greg. Couldn’t fit it in my pocket, messed up my nails not being able to open the blades, and having no interest in using the spoon or fork for eating when I saw what had gotten caked to them.
THEN, they started coming out with more and more accessories that I figured I’d never use. What really turned me off on them was the price tag. I had no interest in spending that much for a knife. Now, I have a little knock-off that I use at home with a tweezers, a short pen knife blade, a toothpick and a small scissors. I keep the thing for the tweezers and scissors, and occasionally use the blade for cutting flash when I’m making plastic giant robot kits. The toothpick? Not so much. Stupid thing is still $18, so although the side panels are cracking and starting to weather badly, I’m uninclined to get a replace soon.
I bought the Sharper Image Swiss army knife (yeah, I know…). It was on sale, and it was just the basic Swiss army knife (hey… it was five bucks). It became part of my everyday kit. Never needed more. Crappy knife though.
An old Scout knife for me; couple of blades, screwdriver, can opener and bottle opener.
Actually the bottle opener gets the most use. After I watch someone shred their fingers trying to twist off a non twist off bottle cap I’m there to save the day.
Hmmm. I’ve had a Victorinox model for years. No holes in my pants pockets, no lint on the knife. Everything still works. How? Belt holster. Right next to my Mag-Lite flashlight belt holster (AA size).
Admittedly, the toothpick doesn’t get that much use, and I don’t have a spoon, but the Torx screwdriver bits get used quite a bit. (I’m in tech and often have to disassemble things with no notice.)
Growing up, I always carried a single blade pocket knife. It was used mostly in the field for cutting baling twine. I also did some whittling with it. (took a chunk of 2×4 and cut six wooden links out of it, cracked off #7) I haven’t had one in years. I bought a leatherman and it’s in a drawer somewhere…..
Sell him the big one and a hammer.
I never understood that no matter what else they come with, there was always a corkscrew; even my official cubscout pocket knife back in the day. I’m 10. Nowhere near the legal drinking age. Why do I need a corkscrew? Who finds themselves with a bottle of wine on a camping trip or lost in the woods and desperate for a corkscrew?
I have a churchkey (plastic handle, the two ends are back to back on it at one end) with a corkscrew in it, thrift store find. I use the sharp churchkey puncture about once a month… the corkscrew gets used every few days… as it is perfect for putting holes in those 2.5 gallon water dispenser thingys for the airhole. Then later I cut the jug up for plant use… so a purposeful recycle.
Well James, if you take care of your knife it will last to legal drinking age. Also, I’m told that it be used to remove stripped screws… once since it is hard on the spiral. You can use it to loses knots, clean gunk from under your nails (carefully), drill a hole in a coconut, open vinegars that are sealed with cork, I’ve heard of people screwing them into logs and breaking them off for fun, screw your knife into a tree to hang something from it (don’t forget your knife) among other thing. And oh yeah…
According to Brian Jones…
A “reamer” to clear out dust from drilling with the awl or other drill, and smooth the bore
A “starter” for the awl when drilling softer wood
punching holes in hides
running used snare wire through it to straighten out kinks and coils
To hold fishing line and pay it out while “survival fishing,” and then, when you pull on a catch, it locks the line (like a caribinner)
A control for weaving cordage into a cloth or mat
To open that wine when a pretty girl asks me to help her out
But when you reach drinking age, it is a vital survival tool in cultured areas.
interestiing how much the old swiss army knives can come with now a days . next version will come with a mini iphone and charger . and no doubt hubris has the smaller version ready to give it to the guy.
Got a Leatherman Micra with the scissors, use it all the time at work. Got other knives too, and a Radio Shack tool (leatherman also) with wire stripper that comes in handy.
Need a sheath for something that big, and it’s own life vest if you’re going near water.
I have a genuine Radio Shack wire stripper and wire wrapping tool back from the ancient age of geeking with computer stuff. Still would work. I use it now for winding 24 gauge wire around to make jump rings….
The blade I found useful was the can-opener. Haven’t seen one in years.