One morning, around daybreak, I was riding my unicycle on the trails at a local park (It’s okay, it’s a mountain unicycle. I haven’t owned a street wheel in years) and I rounded a bend up a hill, startling a few deer.
The females ran like… well, like deer, of course.
But the Buck. The Buck just stood his ground and made a sound I’m not accustomed to deer making around me. He “wuffed”, or something like it. A lot of air moved through his head, that’s all I know about the sound.
It was then that I conceived of a unicycle (and the cheap, yet dangerous, spiked pedals I used) as a weapon.
I didn’t think I could outrun that buck, nor outride him. And maybe it was mating season, when bucks feel the need to protect their females, or just randomly kick somebody’s ass. I wanted to know what sort of weapon could hold off a buck. I decided that I could get enough work done with that unicycle, if wielded properly, to consider it a weapon, even if it wouldn’t be a unicycle any more once it had been a weapon for a minute or two.
The buck turned and left before anything was put to the test.
But you can thank him for the train of thought that led to today’s cartoon.
Thank you, Buck. You were finely reasoned against.
The snort alerts the other deer of danger.
You’re not a danger, are you?
https://targetcrazy.com/hunting/deer-sounds-meanings/
Sometimes.
as any Martial artist can say, ‘ANYTHING can be a weapon if used properly.’
and I thank you to put me in that cartoon since well…that’s the kind of things I would literally do in real life.
”I have carbon paper and I will cut you, in triplicate.” – Office Ninja
chuckles
YOU can try. hehe
That is so cool Greg Cravens. My wilderness encounter was far less macho.
Y’know how plenty of dogs go a little loony when they see a unicycle? Suddenly ankles look more tasty? Spokes really seem perfect to stick a nose in, fun thing to chase et cetera?
So, once upon a time, while riding through a forest on my 20″ I saw a pack of 10 wolves rummaging though the foliage – probably for food. And they saw me. And I probably thought to myself – “oh dear. Wolves are very well coordinated as a group, so chances for success are slim. Gotta fight for life, but, oh well, I had a good run”.
And then they didn’t go after me, but instead they gave me the look. If I had to venture a guess I’d say it was the ‘don’t want to get contaminated with his stupid’ look. So I just rode past them for however way too long it takes to ride clear past a pack of wolves on a small-wheeled uni, accompanied by their disdainful stares.
I’ve had a business acquaintance stop a car jacking with a lawn sign. Granted, that sign was left IN a thigh, but stopped nonetheless!
Unicycle, Huh? Do they make something to attach two of them together to turn ’em back into a sane mode of transportation?
No,no! They took all the useless stuff OFF, and this is the actual mode of transportation. Everyone else is cruising around on a pile of accessories.
*laughs* What kind of wheel would you suggest for a fat ass with bad hips and back, Greg?
I’m on an urban bike lane.
Street Wheel, Trail Wheel, or a hybrid wheel?
Dunno. I knew a guy whose back issues went away when he quit mountain bikes and switched to an offroad unicycle (sloppy posture not really being possible on a unicycle) But he was riding trails and I have no idea what his back issues were to start with. If you’re riding an urban bike lane, a street wheel would probably serve. Eventually, you’d want a commuter wheel, like a Coker or something. I think. It all depends on you, of course. If none of them intrigue or excite you, there’s no reason to bother with them.
A wide saddle with decent springs should help.
Calvin enters Hubrisland
Paste has magic hair, it’s suddenly grown back, or does he have ointment that causes rapid hair growth?
Probably drawn before the adventure with the flaming Hacky Sack was introduced?
Or… that’s not Paste. I thought I’d put in a kid that looked vaguely like Calvin from ‘Calvin & Hobbes’. It didn’t occur to me that he’d look that much like Paste, to be honest.
My adventure with fierce horned animals was a bit different (Horned has two syllables, BTW) I am a farmer, and about 11 years ago, I was newly widowed, when the flock ram decided that he didn’t like me. He had hit me twice, but backed off when I made myself taller, by stepping into a feed bunk. Plus, he had not given the shearer, a tall slender woman, any grief when she sat him on hi rear to get a haircut. Well, one day I was putting the hay in the bunk, when he totally blindsided me. No matter how fast I got up, he had me flying through the air faster. I finally managed to climb into the hay rack, and was out of his reach. I sat up there and hollered for a bit, and when no one seemed to be forthcoming, I crept down the other side, while his nibs was occupied with tasty hay, and, because of my husband’s clever design, was able to undo the end of a section, and get out, before ram noticed. I went to the hospital (in an ambulance) and when I got there, I realized that the dispatcher decided that I had given her the make and model of the truck that had hit me. But they don’t usually back up and take repeated whacks at one… The last worst part was that they had cut off my shirt, and my neighbor was coming to get me (turned out that someone *had* heard me hollering, and told next door neighbor where I was) but they were no going to give me a replacement shirt to wear home. Nope. I was going to have to go nekkid. They did finally see to reason, and gave me a scrub shirt, so I looked half like Kara, as I left for home.