Here’s a thing you can either learn or, if you already know it, nod smugly about.
Once paintballs spill out of your gun’s hopper, you don’t pick them back up and pour them back into the hopper.
You’d think that’d be fine, right? I mean, they’re splattery things anyhow, so how could a little dirt or lint make a bit of difference?
You’d think that and be wrong, I tell ya.
You’ve paid good money for those paintballs, but if you want to enjoy the rest of the game, you don’t want them in your gun (actually, I think the term is ‘Paintball Marker’, not gun. If they call them ‘guns’, then they have to legislate little orange tips on the barrels, so the cops don’t think you’ve got a real gun… like you could put an eye out with or anything. Anyway, that’s what I heard)
Dirty paintballs tend to explode before they leave the barrel of your rented paintball gun marker thingy. And that’s bad for all the paintballs that come after it, because then THEY don’t sail swimmingly through that barrel either, and you wind up looking pretty vile, spewing goop out of your gun while giving away your position and getting shot to bits… you get the idea.
So, all you beginner paintballers- make sure the lid on your hopper is secure and don’t bobble the gun around as you run. And if you HAVE to resort to paintballs retrieved from their landing places on the ground- make sure they’re the last shots you’re gonna get before somebody shoots you on the shoulder and leaves one of those weirdly colorful bruises that are so much fun to show to co-workers and family!
For being that messy, paintball guns seem to be too picky about the slightest molecule of anything….
Didn’t the Stanky Creek Fest finish up with 1 million more paintballs which was a few hours? And a lot more participants. I don’t think Hubris underestimated how many to order… but I do think the better rent some extra guns. And since Lowell is getting paid, he can clean guns… heh.
I actually did some simple math a couple different ways to try and guess how many paintballs to write in this story. 650,000 would have been near the low end. 750,000 probably about right, based on some of the longer days I’ve played, doubling that, assuming a lot of people will quit, hide and snipe, or shoot all their ammo early and get taken out by one or two shots… And then you have to say, “What if they’re INTO it? What if they want to play more? What if I’ve underestimated them?” and finally, you just have to say, “Oh, there’s no way we want to run out and they’re gonna spill like 9-year-olds.” and you make it a million.
For the Outdoorfest? I said “A million” ’cause it sounded good.
Knowledge is power.
And now you know.
Get the OTHER guy into using spilled paint balls.
Or, when the other guys aren’t looking, pour sand into the barrels of their markers before the games start.
I wondered why paintball guns were called “Markers” outside Australia, and “guns” inside Australia. Now I know.
Well, now you know what I was told. I get told a lot of crap, though. I live in the States, where Truth is established by how famous people who believe it are.
Hmm… or this…
http://www.paintball-guns.com/paintball_history.html
Greg’s diatribe was better than the comic today. 😀
ok … diatribe was the wrong word. I meant soliloquy, cuz how many of us actually read it? 😛 (j/k, I read it all)
… and his soliloquy points out he likes to play with his (paint) balls alot.
You can’t leave those paintballs lying around. They get all crusty and they won’t work right any more.
Also, Ewwwwwww.
ugh oh paste has that evil look in his eyes hubris better put a guard on those paint ball containers or paste really will be cleaning something himself.