You can’t win, you know. Your instincts and your forebrain and real life aren’t on the same page. They’re not even reading from the same book, no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
Want to hear one of my favorite theories? This is a fun one. Share it, but remember to tell everyone you heard it here.
You know how boys tend to do stupid stuff “to impress girls”? And everyone stands around going “Why’s that idiot riding his bike with no hands, standing up on the handlebars?” and “Why’s that kid mouthing off to his buddies about his sports abilities and injuries?” and “Doesn’t he realize that girls aren’t impressed by that macho crap?”
Well, they’re right. It doesn’t make sense that guys do dumb things in front of girls to impress them.
That’s not what they’re doing.
They’re doing stuff to intimidate and drive off the other males, thus having more opportunity with the females for themselves. Pure biology, but we insist on seeing it the wrong way ’round.
We need a Jane Goodall primatologist for people. Someone to sit around the mall and say, “The loud male I call ‘Zippy’ in the red shirt is posturing in front of his friends and bullying elderly humans in hopes of mating with the blonde cheerleader I have named “Ditzy”. I will follow their progress closely.”
I Win! I said it’d take him longer than 5 min to sort that one out! WeeHoo!
Ayup.
Jane Goodall: “In the meantime, I’m going to mate with ‘Zippy’, ’cause just sitting around here for 7 months taking notes is going to drive me loopy…”
Not gonna lie. I’d watch the hell out of a primatology documentary called “People of the Mall”.
Poor paste!
I remember my first “kiss” … it had the same effect.
My then “girlfriend” (who I’d see at the library, as we went to different schools, and lived about 1km apart, and being 12 I wasn’t allowed to cross the busy 6 lane road…) invited me to her birthday party. There was her, her mom, and 5 of her female friends. Oh, and me.
.
We went to Olive Garden, did the eating and the birthday cake thing, then went back to their house.
She opened presents, mine being a teddy and some candy.
When her mom went to get the ice cream and cake she’d made, my girl came over, grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me forward and kissed me. My head just about exploded. I was dizzy. It wasn’t a great kiss, but meh, it was my “first real kiss”, and it was in front of her friends. LOL
He!
He!
He!
Nothing like when us gals figure out what estrogen is for 😀
Damn … women finding out what makes a guys head explode. So not fair… 😛
Ah, yes, the drawbacks of testosterisone… hehehe
Oh, YEAH!
Good theory, definitely has some merits. Wasn’t that coordinated on a bike so I had to resort to juggling and bass-playing.